The other Hanukkah story

So Hanukkah is the holiday of miracles. Briefly, when the Jews were trying to clean up the Temple, which had been wrecked, they needed oil to keep the lamp lit. Alas, they had only one drop of oil! What good would that do? However, that one drop of oil lasted an entire eight days!

The other Hanukkah story: A poor person can barely afford to heat his home. He keeps his lights off most of the time. One day, he is hunting around in his dark bathroom and cannot find toilet paper. Alas! But then, he finds a roll with only one square. What good would that do? However, that one square lasts an entire eight days!

Is that a miracle that will end up being celebrated and named a holiday called “Hanukkah,” that much of the world cannot pronounce, or will we just call that “gross”?

Your pick. But please, don’t let your kids flush the dreydl down the toilet. Teach them about recycling, and have a terrific eight nights.

Every time I hear about Tsarnaev, I cry

I know what it’s like to be told, “You don’t have a soul.” That’s what the mental health system told me, again and again. I know what it’s like to be silenced and to be told, “Your voice doesn’t matter,” or to be told, “You are a sinner,” because that’s what I was told. And that was the “cure,” supposedly. I was told the only good thing that could be done for me was to lock me up. I was told I wasn’t good enough. I was told I was a waste. Human waste.

Worse, I was called a liar. I was called “not credible.” Imagine never being believed, no matter what you say. That’s called gaslighting. The MH system tears down people’s souls that way. They leave us to die, and they don’t care.

Yes, every single one of us had a soul, we had, and still have, real feelings, real abilities, real talents, and we are capable of meaningful relationships. If society keeps beating and beating and beating on a person, it makes it difficult if not impossible for that person to be reasonable. Do you really think Tsarnaev has been treated with any respect at all these past two years? No, I’m sure he’s been through living hell. Putting a person through hell won’t make a person any nicer.

Sure, I’d love it if we could get one or two of the diagnosers into court, and all line up and tell him just how much those diagnoses harmed us. We could tell him about the broken up families, about the divorces, about how our lives have been shortened by the drugs and harmed by the various treatments, about how we were denied careers, about how our reputations were ruined. ABOUT THE LOST YEARS. The taxpayer waste and insurance fraud. There are more than hundreds of victims, and more than three are dead. So do they get shamed and get the death penalty, too?

Still, after all that, every person has a soul. Tsarnaev will have a soul till the day he dies. And his death will be the responsibility of those that killed him, the fault of that hatred and scapegoating and blame that people choose to hold onto.

Does Tsarnaev have a soul? YES!

If you believe that humans have souls, then ALL humans have souls. ALL humans are worthy. I have never met one bad human. I have seen cruelty and unkindness but I have never seen one person who was inherently bad. I have seen bad ideas and concepts, and I have seen those bad ideas carried out, and I have seen people act out of fear or hatred, but I have yet to see one bad person. I have yet to see one person who had no value.

I wrote about my friend Roy, who was sentenced to life in prison because he killed someone. Roy saved my life back in 1984. After I tried suicide all my friends turned their backs on me. But Roy didn’t. In fact, he drew closer and made extra effort to see to it that I was okay. What if the state of Georgia had decided to kill him? They gave him a second chance, and I sure am glad.

I believe everyone deserves a second chance. I also believe that trauma and suffering should be validated and not dismissed as “nothing.” There are two types of problems. There are the real problems, and there are the inconveniences.

I had an inconvenience this morning. I put Puzzle’s breakfast on, and found out my hotplate doesn’t work anymore. I thought: I’m moving soon, so why should I replace this one? My next place has a stove.

But does the stove work? Last I heard, it doesn’t. It might get fixed, but that’s not something I can count on. You can never count on others. So maybe I should get a new hotplate. Or I can fire cook, but that means buying lots of wood. Thirty pesos of wood will only  last an hour or two, unless I buy a large quantity, which I’d have to have delivered unless I get someone to help me out. Getting a delivery means I deal with the entrance/landlady ordeal as always….which I am darned tired of.  So I decided to go out and find a cheap hotplate for under $1,000 pesos. I had seen them a while back.

But now, they didn’t have any. They had one for nearly $2,000 pesos, but not the el cheapos I had seen before. There are gas  models, also expensive, which I’d get if I weren’t moving. I have a tiny gas one that springs a leak every time I use it, so I gave up on it. I finally remembered I have another pot that would work for now so I am using that.

All that was an inconvenience and Puzzle has had a nice breakfast. Know what a real problem  is? Deep loneliness caused by psych abuse. Not having a single person who believes  in you due to abuse by the System. Know what else is a problem? If everyone around you assumes you’re nothing but a bunch of symptoms. Or if the first question they ask is, “How’s the depression?” Don’t you just want to spit on them when they ask that?

Racism is a problem. Hatred is a problem. Being seen as lacking a soul, which is what they do in the Mental Health System, is a problem.

I know first hand what it’s like to be treated like I am a

SUB-HUMAN PIECE OF SHIT

which are the exact words that medical personnel use to describe patients they consider a waste of their time. Yep, that’s what they told  me.

You don’t matter. You are nothing but financial commodity to them and if you die you are nothing but potential lawsuit. Yes, that was said to me, too.

SUB-HUMAN PIECE OF SHIT

Tsarnaev was 19 when he did what he did. What were  you doing when you were 19? Partying? Driving drunk? Working at McDonald’s? In college, wondering where life was at? I mean, how much did you really know? How many of us were at our full height and weight at 19? (I was, but my feet grew another size.)

How many kids are sent off to foreign soil to fight in the Armed Forces at 18? Don’t you think 18 is way too young? Why send children? “It’ll make a man out of you.” Huh? They’re kids. They’re not even adults, especially not the males.

I can’t say any kid should be told they don’t have a soul. Gimme a break.

Know what? I know a lot of people who were harmed by mental health “care,” outright killed, or had their lives ruined. These healthcare personnel have NO REMORSE. They are backed by the courts, and victims are suffering today and can’t get lawyers. When a victim, or multiple victims die, no one even thinks of punishing those responsible. Only in rare instances is there even an investigation, and we have to fight for it. In fact, usually, it takes some violent, extreme and obvious situation to get the ball rolling. Dan Markingson, for instance.

MH care isn’t care. It’s a bad idea. I hope someday labeling is a thing of the past.

Instead, MH care kills, and yes, people die, and continue to suffer harms just as devastating as what Tsarvaev caused. Who is paying attention? It’s about time we did, and about time we stopped scapegoating.