Four years of insomnia

It’s been nearly four years now. I apologize for stating before that I had cured my insomnia. Sorry to say, wishful thinking had taken over and I know now I jumped to conclusions too soon. I do think that light therapy will help anyone train themselves when to sleep and when to be awake, however, I began to realize not long ago that my method hadn’t really done much to improve my sleep. I think that lowering lights at night will surely help someone with intermittent insomnia or that which isn’t as consistent as mine is.

I have never known anyone who truly couldn’t sleep due to “overactive mind.” I have known many who were misled into blaming themselves for “inability to relax.” However, this is what the establishment wants people to believe. They want people taking more drugs and submitting more and more to therapy and MH diagnosis. It’s very easy to refuse to look at the physical causes and send everyone to shrinks.

Have you been to your primary care doctor to ask about insomnia? What did he/she say? Did he suggest psychiatry or a “therapist”? Or did he prescribe sedatives? Don’t you wish they’d get off their asses and find out what’s behind sleeplessness instead of assuming we are a bunch of mental sickos?

I’ve been looking into the various possible physical causes. There is so much evidence that points to glandular problems as probable cause. Looking into this seems far more reasonable than prescribing harmful drugs or forcing a person into therapy, when none of this has anything to do with “relaxing the mind.”

Are there any medical people out there who are willing to look for physical causes for insomnia? If you are a doctor, what do you say to a person who comes in saying they cannot sleep? Do you immediately refer the person to a shrink? Or do you give the person an examination and also substantial tests to investigate the REAL cause? Do you treat your insomniac patients as  drug seeking? Do you take their complaints seriously?

I am looking for a doctor or herbalist who goes beyond the prescription pad and instead, seeks the underlying cause. If anyone out there knows anyone who absolutely will NOT prescribe sedatives nor psych meds, nor send a person to a shrink and will not betray confidentiality should I reveal past shrinkage, let me know. Oh, by the way, I don’t pay insanely high prices for folks claiming to be “alternative” nor do I see pseudoshrinks such as faith healers, energy healers, hypnotists, psychics, or “intuitives.” God knows shrinks do enough guesswork. I don’t need more.

Idea: How to get out of a “mental health” court commitment

This is just a thought. Do you guys think this strategy would work to end a court commitment?

What if a person can prove, and demonstrate with examples, multiple times that MH treatment made them worse and not better. I can, can you?

Start writing. You may need it.

Why is stopping the Murphy Bill important to all of us?

You may feel that since so-called mental illness has not affected you nor your family, then you have no reason to care about the Murphy Bill. However, you do.

Do you pay taxes? Did you know that your tax dollars pay to incarcerate people against their will in mental hospitals? Did  you know your tax dollars that supposedly pay for “care” only go straight into the pockets of Big Pharma? Did you know most psychiatric research is  paid for by pharmaceutical companies? Can you imagine such bribery supporting fair and impartial research?

Did you know that patients who receive MH “care” are almost always handed a prescription? Did you know that these drugs are so disabling that most who take them end up on disability, which again, tax dollars pays for?

Do you realize that happy and healthy kids are being diagnosed in increasing numbers with diagnoses, and you, as parent, will be forced to comply whether you agree or not? Did you know that the Murphy Bill seals this and creates a more militant police state in USA?

Did  you know that if you do not live in USA, that USA is forcing its limiting ideas of “health” right now on impoverished countries? They call it “charity.” I call it imperialism and USA arrogance. It’s a  power play to cause worldwide control of populations via psychiatry, which is based on force and coercion.

In many countries around the world, people enjoy family unity, caring, community, spirituality, tradition, and love. These proven principles have sustained these populations for thousands of years. Why does USA arrogance insist their way is better?

The Murphy Bill only increases force. It increases the power of psychiatry, which is too powerful already.

Will you speak out against the Murphy Bill in your community? Will you write about it in your blogs, as I am right now? Will you speak out, before it’s too late?

If I ever am forced to submit to psych slavery again, I won’t. I’ll see to it that I am dead before that happens. Many others feel the same way. I am not the only one. Don’t worry, I’m safe from psych here. See you later.

What is the Murphy Bill? Go listen to Lauren Tenney, PhD read this bill on the radio!

Lauren Tenney is reading the entire text of the Murphy Bill on Blog Talk Radio Talk with Tenney. You can listen right now here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/talkwithtenney/2015/06/06/talk-with-tenney-special-reading-text-of-murphy-bill

The secretary was exploited…..True life story about “day treatment”

I was a patient at Options Day Treatment for nine months in 1981-1982, and also for three years and four months in the late 1980’s into 1990. The first time I went there I called and made the arrangements myself based on the rave review by the daughter of friends of my family. She hadn’t been there long. I figured the same would go for me. I was happy to be going, believing that this “program” would solve all  my problems.

As I stated in my previous entry, it caused more problems than I could possibly imagine. I ran off back to Vermont when I realized that things were not right with the Options program. I couldn’t put a finger on it. All I knew was that the best thing to do was to leave. I had somewhat involved in a lawsuit initiated by another client that ended up getting dropped. I didn’t know what to think about it except I know now that had it gotten tot he courts, I would have been questioned as witness and I believe my testimony, along with testimonies of other witnesses, would have won the case hands down for my fellow patient.

She was in a predicament. She already had gotten a lawyer. These were easy to come by back then. Options knew they had to stop her since they would surely lose this one in court. So the director convinced her to “pardon” the offending clinician.

Then what? Well, I can tell you that this solved nothing for my friend. She knew wrongdoing had occurred and wanted to see to it that this “therapist” stopped violating confidentiality. These leaks of information could harm a person. Options knew the therapist was clearly in the wrong. They didn’t want a mess. I wonder if back then, “insurance” would have covered this lawsuit. Their “insurance,” if they had it, was paid for by taxpayers, by the way.

For taxpayers, it’s damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. Many taxpayers do not want to support torture, legal or not, or barbaric medical procedures. We are not sure to what extent taxpayers pay for ECT but from what I know, this varies from state to state.  Taxpayers pay for lawsuits aimed at these institutions and also taxpayers pay the salaries of those doing the tortures. You just can’t win.

Those that pay the most are the patients and their families. These psych “programs” label a person for life. They break families apart with their constant tone of blaming. The person’s chance of recovery from treatment is slim. Certainly that won’t happen if a person insists on staying in the System. Most are coerced to stay in it, and told again and again that they cannot survive without it.

The second time I went to Options, I noticed one day that the secretary, that is, the lady who did filing and typing, was right there sitting in our confidential group. No, not as client, but as staff. Then, I realized the secretary was running the group. I approached my day treatment go-to person and demanded to know why they were doing this.

I can answer that and even then, I knew. Cheap labor. I’m sure they were paying her secretary salary or wages and then exploiting her by having her run groups. They didn’t want to hire another LICSW. So they milked the secretary.

This confused us clients. What made her at all qualified to do this? We were told over and over that this situation was perfectly fine. They hoped we’d quit questioning. I believe word was spreading about this since in 2011 the past exploiting of the secretary seemed to be a known fact. I was assured that the “new” Options had hired actual therapists.

The point was driven home, though. Anyone with half a brain could run those groups. The point was also driven home that anyone who had their shit together was qualified and morally far above us. We were told we were worthless, that even a person with no qualifications was far wiser than we were.

She was wicked nice anyway. I think people overlooked it because she was really sweet anyway.

I used to run into someone in Watertown now and then who looked just like that secretary.  The resemblance was striking. We often said hello. Considering that most people in Watertown were either indifferent to me or mean assholes, I’d say she was one person who was rather kind to me whenever I saw her. I asked myself again and again, “Should I ask her if she is M?” I didn’t dare. She was often with another person. I didn’t want to embarrass her.

Maybe anyone reading this knows the entire program fell apart after Donna’s suicide. This blew wide open the various offenses that had taken place there. I’m sure this got the remaining staff fired.

Maybe you remember the “confessionals.” We clients were encouraged to confess, but the staff did most of it. We had some state they were homosexual, making a huge deal of it as if they were fessing up to being convicted criminals. I felt that was offensive since it wasn’t any of our business what their lives were like outside of work. Also, I didn’t think anyone should “confess” that they love someone, implying guilt or wrongdoing.  The boundary violations were unreal. The director, Donna Covino, announced first in confessional manner that she was a lesbian. I’ll bet a lot of clients were wondering who were the clients and who were the therapists.  Then, Donna said that she and her partner were adopting a baby and she was stepping down as director. I hear that clients were so upset that five were immediately hospitalized.  That was as sure sign of addiction to the program on the part of both clients and therapists.  A client and a therapist got married. The therapist’s name was Dain Stokes. I never knew the name of the client. You can see that the situation was only getting worse and more confusing. I wonder what was going on in the client Donna’s head when she killed herself. Was her own realization that everything was all wrong come to her so fast she couldn’t bear it?

This was well after I’d left. I stayed away from Options, making a point not to pass by and avoided the clients if I ever saw them around. We all felt ashamed that we had been there. Embarrassed that we went along with these maniacal therapists, worshiping them as if we were blind sheep.

My own realization and embarrassment came right after leaving. If you read This Hunger Is Secret you can see that my relationship with my contact person there was rather questionable. Her name was Liz Yorke. I call her Liza in the book. I’m embarrassed about my own behavior and actually furious that she encouraged it, seeming to thrive off of turning me into a child. In short, I had a crush on her and she used that to be controlling and manipulative, withdrawing or giving love and approval at her whim. It was sexual abuse for sure, but mostly sexually-based psychological control. As soon as I got to my next therapist I suggested that this had occurred. I also knew that therapists back each other and that my best bet was to stay silent.

Till my book came out. And till now.

That place killed a sweet and loving client named Donna. I didn’t know her well. She had beautiful long brown hair, shiny and sleek. They said she had seizures. I noticed she had teeth missing and I wondered if this was from Dilantin. She had a few close friends in the program. One in particular. I can’t recall her name nor know if she was okay after that.

I’ve run into a few of them since. One or two in hospitals. One in another city. Another who ended up at the respite facility with me and she was the one who told me about Donna. I think also I knew a few ex-Options people who ended up at McLean. And lastly, I ran into one at a bus stop and we spoke for a while. I knew he was ashamed, as was I. One thing for sure, neither of us wanted to relive the experience.

There’s too much emphasis on “drugging” in the Movement, we need to recognize that the harm goes much deeper

I am so, so tired of the increasing emphasis on drugging and why getting off drugs is the cure-all to the harms that psych “care” causes. The point that labeling itself is the bigger crime is being overlooked. Now more than ever, anyone who shows up at a shrink office will end up drugged. It saddens me that people now assume the drugging is the main harm. I don’t think it’s helpful to overemphasize drugging, since doing so places diagnosis harm,w which is a far worse offense, in the shadows, where it gets dismissed or forgotten. I believe overemphasis on drugging only leads to hopelessness among survivors, since often, the drugging harm is permanent or seems to be so.

I don’t for one minute believe that “I am off drugs” means a person is mentally, spiritually, or morally better. Nor worse. It means they have lessened the chances of early death from drugging, much like quitting cigarettes will lessen your chances of smoking-related health problems.

It also means the following: The person is at higher risk of future forced care, seeing as the establishment sees this person as “dangerous” and “off-meds.” The person faces rejection from “treatment buddies.” The person is less likely to be able to obtain medical care if their diagnosis is known. They will only be seen as uncooperative or noncompliant.

I don’t think getting off drugs alone solves anything. If a person still acknowledges diagnosis, it seems fruitless to drop the associated “treatment” since the person still believes they have a permanent need for the drugs. I think this causes people to have a much harder time stopping the drugs. I see people doing such long, torturous withdrawals from drugs since they still believe they are ill and needy. Sadly, endless therapy only reinforces this neediness and reinforces diagnosis. That’s why people get trapped in the system. Most wholeheartedly believe in its magical powers to heal. But it doesn’t heal. Many believers cling to, “I am hard to treat and that’s why I am not better yet.”

Nothing could be further from the truth. You aren’t hard to treat. Your doctors failed you. It’s entirely the fault of the System, not your fault at all. the System is designed to keep people sick and that’s why you are still sick. We each entered the system for many different reasons and our backgrounds differ. We are made into permanent patients rather quickly, and most cannot see this transition as it is happening.

Our relatives might have told the story differently than we recall. I often try to imagine how my own family felt as I walked steadily into the trap and they could do nothing.

Do you recall the song I posted called “The Hive”? This was made famous by various singers. I loved that song when I first heard it from Meg Christian. Not only did I think of it as a feminist song but I had another vision as well.

Not long before I entered the System, I wrote to a penpal about my experience in the Moonies. She wrote back and told me something she herself went through, as follows:

She wanted to do good in the world. She was graduating high school and felt the need to do spiritual work in line with her Catholic faith. She made the decision to join a convent. She was accepted into one. These convents do not reveal the real inner workings and goings-on within its cloistered walls.

The girl was lucky to get out when she did. What she saw horrified her. This had nothing to do with religion or spirituality. She was forced into slavery. She made it out before she was trapped there for life. We hope this convent was not typical, but I don’t know for sure.

My penpal sent me photos. While she was joining, her family felt proud, so they snapped a few. The photos she sent me were of a young innocent woman walking straight into the Hive. It’s like she was sucked in and her family didn’t know till she got out that this supposedly altruistic thing she was joining was not what it appeared to be.

I see my own family as watching a perfectly fine, talented and ambitious young college student entering something and then being stripped of her former identity. This was replaced with a new identity, that of a person who obeyed and otherwise wasn’t worthwhile or useful to anyone anymore. She no longer had a mind of her own.

I smoked. I began to watch TV.  I stopped doing what I loved, including music, riding my bike, or caring for myself. I didn’t shower nor care to wear clean clothes. I adopted a new vocabulary. I showed no desire for academic pursuit anymore. My values became void of depth or meaning.

I am sure my brothers felt like they had lost their sister right then and there. They were only kids and didn’t have the power to stop what was happening. The therapists held family meetings where my unsuspecting parents were indoctrinated in the disease model.

“Your daughter is sick.”

I was indoctrinated, too. My whole mindset was different. I had a desire to “belong” and strove to belong to the therapy program and be accepted. That meant taking on values that were not my own.

There was no disease. None that anyone could prove nor see nor test for. The real meaning was, “We need the family’s money. We need more subjects to shove around, control, and experiment on.”

That’s how the MH System stole me, my parents’ daughter. I see it just as that, kidnapping. Soul-stealing.

All that happened well before I had taken one single psych med. Not one. I became thoroughly indoctrinated and totally convinced I had an “illness” and I was not taking their pills yet. Drugs only serve to make the brainwashing process so quick, easy, and efficient.

Here today, gone tomorrow…..

Hey guys, psssst! I’m back. I got out of The Hive before it crushed me. Do you hear the buzzing in there? Do you?

“Time for wrap-up!”

I think that sound will stay with many of us for a long time.